my chinese isn't what it used to be. so thanks to all the people who helped us find our way in the thick "fog", welcomed us warmly even though we could have been stalkers, and kept our bellies full of veggies.

to betsy and mike, ever the generous diplomats, even when we went beyond the 20 questions and made them late for their party. ps. nice jacket mike.

and to jeremy, avid juicer and adequate bowler, who took us to the volcano, and to cloud nine. we'll be back for a ride in the sidecar. also, we've decided to call you greg.

we slept sideways on purple satin sheets.
we read bedtime stories about men who were killed in their sleep.
we ate carrots shaped like wisemen.
we drank green tea and pretended to stop brushing our teeth.
we wrote poetry behind unmarked doors in the hutong.
we had sesame buns and mongolian yogurt brought to us in cricket cages each morning.
we told anyone who disagreed with us "you are sick, comrade" and brainwashed them.
we wore flipflops in the shower.

it was the chairman mao suite, circa 1952.

squidy the "cuddlefish" was actually from bangkok,
but he inadvertantly got left out of that section. and we missed him.

so long fierce elbows to the ribcage, ladies and gentlemen with perms, and visors the size of las vegas.
we're off to beijing.

this is how to make the ladies swoon in korea, and cause riots in japan.
and forget boxers or briefs, you'll also be needing some of these.

he may look like a sweet, pooh loving 5 year old. but he's actually pushing 85.
don't believe us?
watch this video.

it's the cat in the shat.
a.k.a. soju the hun.

you should see what he can do with 3 ping pong balls and a bottle of fanta.

*
*
so we did.
and on a related note, a fun fact: most of the toilets in korea are of the squat variety.

*this photo was taken from the next table over because we actually had to switch tables in order to have our tea and dessert as there wasn't enough room on ours. swear.

we're playing catch up. so look above for some spicy pickled tidbits from korea. a big ups to sarah for putting us up and putting up with us and generally being awesome. and to matt for calling us $5 prostitutes in front of small school children.

check out our hotel,
the spa where we got massages and facials yesterday,
the bar where we spilled drinks on paul smith carpets and ate peanuts for peanuts,
and the restaurant in a converted old house where we were hovered over like royalty in flip flops, and ate an unbelievable 3 course dinner for two (including rock lobster pad thai) for around $30.

yes, we're feeling spoiled.

here's your chance to wash away 2004,
choose your own loi krathong adventure.
we sent one off last night, with flowers and coins and secret scrolls of paper that we can't tell you about.

in honor of loi krathong, an offering to the river goddess:


goodbye little elph. you were my friend, my rock, my confidant. and your 6,500 photos will live on in our hearts and in iphoto.

please leave your condolences or a favorite memory about the little guy in the comments section below.

happy thanksgiving from bangkok,
and to all a good night.

nevermind nirvana.
this buddha booty is 150 ft. long, 50 ft. high.

*
it's


Ping Pong at Patpong
a la Tom Robbins:

If the purpose of advertising copy was to attract maximum interest, this was the most successful ad copy in the history of the medium. Even those passersby who'd rather fall down a flight of stairs than actually attend a genital stunt show were galvanized by the sign. Women were shocked by it, amused, intrigued, perhaps secretly inspired. Men were titillated, wonderstruck, maybe even piqued with a subliminal pang of vagina envy. Whether awed or disgusted, no one could ignore it--and, moreover, unlike 95% of Madison Avenue's handiwork, this ad was truthful; if you ventured inside (and Dickie had done so once or twice, back before he fell in love), you witnessed everything that was promised and more.

Still Dickie was a bit disappointed to note that the wording on the sign hadn't changed in at least a decade. Not that he expected or wanted this sex show to start including live frogs on its program, as was currently the rage in Nana Plaza, yet considering how technophilic Thailand had recently become, he easily could envision an addition on the order of:

PUSSY ACCESS INTERNET

looks like this is as close to the beach as we're gonna get.
yeah, thanks muifa.

hey why bother landing when the food is the "best chinese in the air"? how bout we just circle bangkok a few more times and stop off for a quickie (refuel) in pattaya...